How Owners, Managers, and Workers Can Draw Co-Workers to Christ
Living a Christian life in an office, shop, or factory is often difficult. Other workers will often try to marginalize Christians because they have Christian values and seek to practice them. But Christians can win over others by being kind. Kindness is a superpower.
If you are an employer, you have an advantage. Your Christian values will be less likely to be challenged by others. You can be a living example of Christian values in how you conduct your life, the decisions you make, and how you treat people.
You can use acts of kindness to solve problems in the workplace. There is a difference between mere civility and actual acts of kindness. It may seem like they blur together in the workplace, but that need not be the case. Civility is being pleasant to people; kindness is touching their lives in a tangible way.
Listen, Then Act
Empathy is an essential workplace attribute. We often let it slide in a pressurized goal-oriented work environment. Nevertheless, empathy is an essential part of all of life. Christians can never forget that because of the empathy the Lord showed us: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
This article is adapted from a chapter in my book A Christian Guide to Being Kind in an Unkind World.
When we show empathy, we try to understand the other person’s feelings and experiences and express that we understand where they are coming from by taking action. Doing this is an act of kindness. When we genuinely comprehend the mindset of others, we are then in a position to solve company problems and those who have a role in them.
Very few workplace problems are solved by the people who talk about them. They are solved by those who listen and then act. Therefore, active listening is an act of kindness that benefits all.
Make a conscious effort to truly understand the other person’s perspective without interrupting or becoming defensive. Show that you are listening by using nonverbal cues like nodding and paraphrasing what the person has said to confirm your understanding. When a person who seeks to be kind does speak, they use calm, non-confrontational, and non-judgmental language. It is never a kind act to engage in blame-shifting or negative language. That only makes problems worse.
As an employer or employee, you are in a position to do acts of kindness and to encourage it among others. You want to seek common ground before you attempt to solve any problem. Try to find points of agreement and focus on them. This can help build trust and create a sense of cooperation.
It is an act of kindness when both the boss and all workers embrace vulnerability. That is something that emerges out of a culture of kindness. Show vulnerability by admitting when you don’t know the answer or say you have made a mistake. It will decrease defensiveness and help others to feel more comfortable sharing their shortcomings. Apologize if necessary, and take steps to make things right.
These strategies for using kindness to resolve conflicts are generally effective for men and women, as they focus on active listening, clear communication, and understanding the other person’s perspective. It’s important to remember that conflicts are often a result of misunderstandings, so by taking the time to understand the other person’s perspective, you can often find a solution that works for both parties. Kindness and understanding can help create a more positive, open, and respectful work environment that benefits everyone.
Being Kind To Difficult People
It is hard to be kind to difficult people. However, it is often the cure when trying to help an obstinate, combative worker who refuses to give a day’s work for a day’s wages.
Most employers are happy to fire a problematic employee, especially when the person impedes production or negatively affects staff morale.
Firing may be the proper course of action, but before you set the difficult employee free, you may want to try some of the following strategies. They can be used in almost any context mentioned in this book, but they can be beneficial to staff which might be worth redeeming. Even supervisors and staff can use them to solve issues before they get out of control. At the very least, staff and management can say they went the extra mile (Matthew 5:41) to help a difficult person learn, grow, and fit in.
Remain calm and composed. It can be difficult to remain level-headed in the face of hostility, but it’s important to avoid getting drawn into a conflict or becoming defensive. Instead, try to stay calm and composed and maintain a professional and respectful demeanor.
Keep in mind that hostility has two forms; it can be active or passive. Active hostility is when people shout or get physical; passive hostility is usually threats or snarky remarks. You cannot stop an unruly employee from acting like this, but if you want to try to mend the situation, you, as a manager, cannot indulge in either form of hostility. Remain calm and speak in low, measured tones.
Listen Actively
Make a conscious effort to truly listen to the worker’s concerns and understand their perspective without interrupting or becoming defensive. Use well-established nonverbal cues like nodding or paraphrasing what the person has said to ensure they know they are being heard.
Managers do not realize that difficult people almost always have two problems. The first one is what is called the “presenting problem.” It is the thing they say that makes them recalcitrant or divisive.
However, there is usually a real problem behind the presenting problem, and that is the one you need to solve. You can only discover the real problem if you listen actively. Look beyond the surface level of the conflict and try to understand what drives the worker’s behavior. Is the worker dealing with personal issues outside work, feeling unappreciated or unsupported, or struggling with a specific task? Listening long enough to discover the root causes of unsatisfactory behavior is an act of kindness.
Validate Feelings
You will want to acknowledge the presenting problem but validate the real problem when you discover it. In your own act of kindness, help them deal with the real problem. In so doing, you also deal with the difficulty they are causing on the job.
A worker may be frustrated, upset, or stressed, and you want to empathize with them. Let them know that you understand and appreciate their perspective, even if you disagree.
Offer Solutions and Alternatives
Once you’ve identified the underlying problem, collaborate with the worker to devise a solution that addresses their concerns and meets the company’s needs. Develop a plan with the worker to end their problematic behavior and ask them to agree to performance benchmarks.
Your role is to communicate openly and honestly. Be transparent and honest about your intentions and actions and ensure the worker understands what you are trying to achieve.
Seek External Help if Necessary
If the situation is complicated and you cannot resolve it through direct communication, consider seeking help from a mediator or an employee assistance program. You want to be kind to the person, but you must balance that with the well-being of the rest of your staff and your company.
There may even be cases when you need to consult a lawyer. That extreme should be reserved for extraordinary cases. It is not unkind to call on various kinds of professionals when a difficult employee becomes unmanageable. Some may need help you cannot provide.
It’s important to remember that a combative or obstinate worker may be dealing with personal or work-related issues that contribute to their behavior. By approaching the situation with Christ-motivated kindness and understanding, you allow them to express their feelings and concerns. That, in turn, helps to identify the root causes of their attitude and work towards finding a solution.
Put Kindness Second In The Workplace
Want to see real progress in how people work together in your office, shop, or factory? Start experimenting with the ideas outlined in this chapter.
Anyone in business knows that the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) is always breathing down your neck to ensure safety in the workplace. Workers have a right to work in a safe place and can file complaints if there is a dangerous situation. Their message is “Safety First,” which is important.
As a Christian owner, manager, or worker, you want kindness in the workplace to be a close second to the OSHA mandate. They take care of the physical well-being of people, but you can take an essential extra step to ensure the emotional and spiritual well-being of the people you work with daily. “Safety First, Kindness Second” is a worthy policy to promote.
Christians tend to think of the family as the most fertile ground for being kind and teaching kindness. Schools are another important place where we can do and teach kind acts. We cannot allow our offices, shops, and factories to be great wastelands of unkindness. We can make genuine acts of kindness the rule, not the exception.
Sources cited: Unless otherwise noted, Bible quotations are from the English Standard Version (ESV).
