Winning the Battle Against Emotional Insecurity

Many people fail to reach their fullest potential because they are emotionally insecure.

According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 40 percent of Americans report feeling more anxious than the previous year. According to this report, it’s particularly bad with Gen Z. Sadly, issues real and imagined make them quiver.

I remember the first time I became conscious of emotional insecurity. I was seven years old and invited to my neighbor Susan’s birthday party. I looked at the invitation and said I had a Cub Scout meeting that day and would be late. No problem, she said.

I arrived at her house at the appointed date and time with her present in hand. Except there was no party. It had occurred the day before. There had been some mix-up.

That minor incident ejected me from my security blanket into the real world. I discovered at that tender age that people, time, and events are constantly shifting, and my choice about how I felt about things was between resilience and victimhood.

From that day to this, I have always chosen resilience. Uncomfortable things are always happening, but I bounce back.

Resilience is the real message of Philippians 4:13. Specifically, the Apostle Paul spoke of his Christ-empowered resilience, but it is a concept available to all Christians. “All things” does not mean you can swim the Atlantic, run a two-minute mile, or leap over tall buildings in a single bound,

The Complex Web of Emotional Insecurity

Does this mean emotionally insecure people are trapped by the events in their life? Yes, but they should not be. It is their interpretation of events that makes a happier life possible.

You can guide ultimate outcomes by the way you process your thoughts. Psychotherapist Viktor Frankl nailed it when he said:

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”

You can allow circumstances to make you feel emotionally insecure or as an opportunity to become emotionally resilient.

It is a massive awakening to people when they realize that their accumulation of insecurities are nothing more than feral thoughts that they can capture and train to propagate joy.

Emotional insecurity can lead to a self-perpetuating spiral of weakness. Feeling inadequate can make you less likely to engage in social activities, depriving you of the experiences that would help you grow emotionally stronger.

Odd Manifestations of Insecurity

Agoraphobia, or the fear of crowded spaces, can stem from a person’s insecurity about facing the world. This behavior was forced on us during the COVID-19 epidemic, and many people found it comfortable. Even when they now have no excuse for getting groceries delivered to their door or to work from home, they persist in wanting to do it.

On college campuses, students seek “safe spaces” where they can be shielded from viewpoints that may induce emotional trauma. They are like the 5th-century ascetics who wanted to change the world yet lived in caves and refused to speak, even to each other. In both cases, their insecurities ruled their lives.

Trigger warnings on TV shows and films are another manifestation of the “safe space” crowd. They don’t have the emotional strength to deal with life as it unfolds, so society must now accommodate them by firing a flare to warn them their tender sensibilities may soon be tested.

In the 1984 Wem Wenders film Paris, Texas, Travis meets a man on a freeway bridge who is screaming at the traffic. The man cries out, “I can guarantee you the safety zone will be eliminated, eradicated.” And he was right. Many people did not get the memo.

Building Emotional Fortitude

Insecurity exists because people have irrational thoughts about the nature of security.

If you want to see the light on this topic, ask a blind person. Helen Keller (1880–1968) became blind and deaf due to an illness when she was just a year and a half old. She faced the abyss daily her entire life. Yet, she graduated from Radcliffe, wrote 14 books, and campaigned worldwide for people with disabilities.

Helen Keller said:

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” The Open Door (1957).

Insecurity is a problem, not a solution. Embracing it as a child, student, writer, or in the political or business worlds leads down a dark tunnel of no return. There is no excuse for the many manifestations of insecurity; it is a plague upon humanity.

How can you build emotional fortitude and pass it along to others? Here are three key ideas to get you thinking.

• Confirm in your mind that your insecurity is damage that only you can fix. Do not make excuses for it or blame others.
• Reframe the circumstances of past and present events in your life. Bad experiences can have good results, as Helen Keller’s life demonstrates. Your trauma is not exceptional. Never play the victim.
• Assess challenges when they come in life. Reject outrage and catastrophic thinking as your default kneejerk reaction. There are no roadblocks in life, only detours. Look for alternatives. You always have choices about your thoughts and actions.

You can adjust your level of emotional security to live a happier, more productive life. If you can’t, it means you’re stuck and need a professional therapist. Just make sure your therapist isn’t stuck, too.

Shed Your Cocoon and Fly

Take the first step toward your emotional freedom today by being brave. With each step, you’ll become a more robust version of yourself, ready to unlock your fullest potential.