Abandon Your Sofa and Find Your Life
Do you know why millions binge-watch TV shows or play endless hours of video games? Because they are lazy? Bored? Stupid?
No, people become couch potatoes out of fear.
According to Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “The primitive child defenses of dissociation, displacement, denial, and repression explain how we manage feelings we can’t tolerate.” He says that’s why we embed ourselves in artificial safety and security zones.
A so-called “safe place” is just another place to hide from your fears.
A comfort zone is usually a warm and fuzzy place to hide. Yet, being stuck in a comfort zone can be just as toxic as alcohol, drugs, or any other addiction.
Jessica A. Kent, from Harvard, reminds us that humans are not built to be lounge lizards and that consciously deciding to leave our comfort zones offers many non-reptilian benefits.
Only when humans rise from their couch can they begin to achieve the goals to which they aspire. Make no mistake—everyone wants to be fully human; addictions are a barrier to that, although couch warmers typically think otherwise. The truth is, there is nothing more exhilarating than unadulterated reality.
Couch dwellers decided to choose fear over freedom. They must reverse that decision to become fully human.
Facing the world expands it for people. There is joy and fulfillment in achieving the goals you have hidden in your soul. And yes, we all have hidden aspirations, even though many people deny them. Christians, above, want to live lives that at pleasing to the Lord.
Escaping the Comfort Zone
The Bible teaches that humans have free will (Galatians 5:13). That means we can make decisions that influence the direction of our life. Deciding to be a couch potato is a terrible decision. It is not much different than when a terrified animal hides in a hole.
As author Sean Covey said, “You are free to choose what you want to make of your life. It’s called free agency or free will, and it’s your birthright.” He added, “Saying ‘yes’ to one thing means saying ‘no’ to another. That’s why decisions can be hard sometimes.”
You must make better decisions to liberate yourself.
How can you do that when bad decisions got you on the couch in the first place? The answer is through a process called cognitive reframing.
That’s why I suggest changing your state of mind about this decision-making. You must reframe the choice from merely sitting there facing a screen and eating another bag of Doritos or getting up and risking being an authentic person in the real world.
Stop thinking in black and white. Instead, reimagine your prospects as adventures that await you in the reality zone.
Here are some ways you can reframe your thoughts. Reframing allows you to break free from your rut and envision new possibilities for your life.
Trade Your Safety Net for a Freefall
I dislike ladders and avoid them. It’s not going up or down that bothers me, but that instant when the ladder tips, I know I’m helpless to do anything about it. It’s the tipping point and the ensuing freefall that terrifies me. Have I fallen from ladders a lot? No. It happened just once, but the experience stuck with me.
Imagine how I reacted when a friend suggested we take the jump course at Skydive Perris, a jump center in California. I sat on my couch and laughed. Yet, over time, he talked me into it by pointing out that it would be a landmark experience in my life. And it was.
Imagine the exhilaration of skydiving — terrifying, yes, but immensely rewarding. Stepping out of your comfort zone provides a similar blend of fear and thrill, allowing you to experience life fully and teaching you how to manage risks in a controlled environment.
You can find joy in freefall. But you need the will to leap into the sky.
Am I suggesting you learn to skydive? No, I suggest you approach whatever you fear as if it were skydiving. The blend of fear, courage, and thrill makes life worth living, and it applies to your business deals, artistic pursuits, relationships, and nearly every other situation in life.
Navigating the Path Less Taken
You can also reframe your thinking by thinking about it as taking a new path in life. The path will have twists and turns. It will not be as safe as a couch, but there is excitement and adventure that stays with you your entire life.
I drove through Apache Junction, Arizona, and down toward the Gila River country a few years ago. I was shocked to see fast food and convenience stores at the foot of the legendary Superstition Mountain. It was far different from a few decades before when a team of five of us risked hiking through the wild area, fraught with the dangers of heat, snakes, and the ghosts of those who died looking for the Lost Dutchman mine.
Traveling new paths embodies risk and reward. Staying in your comfort zone offers neither.
Few people took the trail we traveled with a wizened old local named Pappy Flora. There were nights under the Arizona sky, long inclines, and beautiful vistas.
On the way down, three went ahead, but I held back so our slowest member would not have to navigate down the final steep slopes alone. It was dark, and our pace slowed. It was then that shots rang out. Someone was firing a rifle in our direction, putting our lives in peril. We hid behind rocks until the gunfire ended.
Straying from the well-marked trails can be risky, but it’s also where you find the hidden gems, like the dramatic vistas, the peaks, canyons, and caves. Similarly, going off the conventional path in life teaches you essential skills like resourcefulness and resilience.
Life Beyond Your Sofa
Life often hands you a “mystery box” full of unexpected challenges and opportunities. Approach it with resourcefulness, adaptability, and faith that the Lord is ordering your steps (Pslam 37:23).
Your comfort zone might be a sofa-shaped rest stop, but it can never be your final destination. There’s a vast, thrilling landscape in this big, wide world, filled with opportunities for growth, excitement, adventure, and self-discovery. Lace-up those boots and venture into the great unknown. Your personal growth doesn’t just await; it beckons, entices, and calls your name. How will you answer?
Sources cited:
Unless otherwise noted, Bible quotations are from the English Standard Version (ESV).
Leon F. Seltzer, PhD
Jessica A. Kent
