How to Live a Holy Life Without Being Holier-Than-Thou

Simple Steps Towards a Life of True Holiness.

The Christian concept of “holiness” is deeply rooted in the Bible and centers around the idea of being set apart for God’s purposes.

Simply put, God is holy, and we are instructed to mimic that state of being. As the Scriptures reveal, it’s about aligning one’s life with God’s will and character.

In the Christian tradition, holiness is about moral purity, but it goes much deeper than that. Holiness touches our thoughts and actions in all aspects of life. Holiness is the harvest of a transformed life.

The Apostle Paul plants the seeds for this harvest when he says, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

Holiness is sometimes called “sanctification.” We are freed from the penalty of sin to live purified lives. It is impossible to live in “sinless perfection” because of our inherent carnal natures, but we can purge sin in our lives at every opportunity.

There is no holiness without this transformation, no holiness without testing and discerning God’s will. Holiness is Christians being transformed by the Holy Spirit and shaped into the likeness of Christ.

The problem in exhibiting our God-given holiness? Acting like we are “Holier-Than-Thou.” Of course, many people, not just Christians, act in a Holier-Than-Thou way. We see it starkly among Black Lives Matter, environmental, and LGBTQ+ social activists, for example. Despite the merits of these causes, they tend to demean others to get their point across. Three main characteristics identify a Holier-Than-Thou attitude regardless of who is acting that way:

Judgmentalism. A Holier-Than-Thou attitude often manifests in a judgmental approach toward others. It creates a sense of superiority.
Hypocrisy. It occurs when individuals project an outward appearance of moral superiority while their actions, attitudes, or underlying motives do not align with the teachings they profess. This inconsistency between words and actions is particularly distasteful to many.
Lack of Compassion and Empathy. People with a Holier-Than-Thou demeanor often lack genuine compassion and empathy towards others. Their focus is on making a point and advancing their agenda, not concern for the beliefs and experiences of others.

Christians should never be guilty of these things when they have been transformed and seek to have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16 ). Here are five ways Christians can practice holiness without falling into the trap of being ” Holier-Than-Thou.”

1. Serve Others

Jesus taught and showed that serving others is crucial to a holy life. Engaging in acts of kindness and service, especially to the less fortunate, reflects Jesus’ love and compassion and keeps the focus on others rather than oneself. As many FaithBiscuit.org readers know, I wrote a book on kindness called A Christian Guide to Being Kind in an Unkind World. Our desire to serve others springs from our premeditated desire to be kind to everyone.

Sure, Christians have an agenda, which is clearly defined by Jesus in Matthew 28:19-20. But that is not the cause of our kindness to all; it is the result of our kindness. The cause of our kindness should always be having the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16) and seeking to mimic his kindness regardless of immediate results.

2. Practice Forgiveness

Embodying the forgiving nature of God is a vital aspect of holiness. We give and accept apologies because that is what Jesus requires of his followers (Luke 17:3–4).

Humans are often weird creatures. We seek forgiveness from God and others, yet we are reluctant to forgive others? Why is that? There are multiple reasons, including:

Pain and Hurt. When someone has been deeply hurt or wronged, the emotional pain can create a significant barrier to forgiveness. The deeper the hurt, the harder it is to release the resentment and anger associated with it.
A Desire for Retribution. Often, the person offended strongly desires to make the offender “pay” for their actions. This need for justice or retribution can hinder the ability to forgive. It is a form of revenge.
A Fear of Showing Vulnerability. I needed to forgive someone recently, which was hard for me. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I thought I would be showing weakness and the person might take advantage of me in the future. Nevertheless, as Christians believe, if the Lord is in charge, then we do not need this kind of emotional protection. I apologized without fear of consequences.

For Christians, the teaching of Jesus is the override mechanism. We must ask the Lord to soften our hearts and provide the spiritual and emotional resources needed to let go of resentment. We want to be stuck in “forgiveness mode.”

3. Cultivate a Prayer Life

Regular communication with God through prayer is essential in the pursuit of holiness. I don’t know about you, but when I want my blender to work, I don’t plug it into a flower pot. I plug it into an electrical outlet, which is the power source.

Likewise, if you wish to be holy, you must connect to God, the source of holiness. The central idea we need to accept is that only God is holy because he has absolute moral purity. Because of that, he is the only entity who understands everything (it’s called omniscience), including people’s motives, so only he can judge wisely. And God will judge all (Ecclesiastes 12:14; Matthew 12:36).

So, we want to tap into God’s holiness to be holy. And we do that by connecting with him through prayer. We will not become as holy as God, but we will get some from him if we listen more than talk. In prayer, we seek the Lord’s guidance by aligning our thoughts and actions with his will.

4. Learn God’s Will for the Small Stuff

How do we learn God’s will? One way is by studying the Bible. It is far more than an instructional manual, but it is that, too. It tells us what to do and what not to do if we intend to mimic Jesus Christ daily. By carefully reading the Bible and meditating on what we read, we can understand God’s character and gain a blueprint for righteous living.

There are other ways to learn God’s will with the intent of doing what we learn. The best of these ways is by being aware of the Holy Spirit within you. Jesus did not say he would send a book to guide us, but he did say he was sending his Holy Spirit to guide and comfort us. Therefore, we must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, which dwells in Christian believers (Romans 8:9). That is what Christians who are connected to God do.

We can also know God’s will by consulting with other believers. They are Spirit-filled and often have wisdom and experience that can guide us.

To be holy, we must not just be aware of the will of God for the major events in life. We must also yield to allow his will to intertwine with all our cognitive functions. As the Bible says, “As a man thinks, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7 NKJV), including living an authentically holy life.

5. Embrace Humility

There is a secret sauce when it comes to living a holy life. It is humility. Anti-Christian people are likely to brand us as Holier-than-Thou anyway since so many of them engage in logical fallacies to make their points. But it is harder for them to do when we embrace humility.

True holiness is marked by humility. Christians are encouraged to follow Jesus’ example of humility ( Philippians 2:1-11). This approach prevents the development of a superior attitude toward others.

Any person or group that flaunts “pride” is emotionally and spiritually damaged. The Bible is very clear on this: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Even God humbled himself, which is the code of the road we travel.

Be Holy Today

You may have read this and think you will be holy at the first opportunity. If so, you have missed the point. Holiness is a state of mind. It is having the “mind of Christ” (1 Corinthians 2:16). To be holy in the biblical sense, you must continually scan for opportunities to do holy acts in Jesus’ name.

Today, as a practical step towards holiness, you might focus on one of the mentioned areas. For example, you could perform an act of kindness or service for someone in need. This could be as simple as helping a neighbor, volunteering for community service, or even listening to someone struggling. This act of service, done with love and without expecting anything in return, is a profound reflection of Christ-like holiness and a positive step in your spiritual journey.

Remember, holiness is not about perfection but the direction of one’s heart and actions towards God’s love and grace as we project them into the world. Our ability to be holy is rooted in the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.